Midlife and the Return of Fifteen Minutes

My forties are drawing to a close; I can count the remaining days on one hand. I always thought I'd celebrate this milestone birthday with something large and loud. Maybe a big party, or a cruise. A trip somewhere fun and exotic and exciting. Hong Kong or London of Dubai.

I'd have settled for The Mall of America.

But the current of life has a way of taking us far from the course we have set in our minds. That has certainly been the case with me. Reality means there is neither time nor money for a grand celebration. I'll admit I'm pouting a little. I've threatened to boycott this birthday altogether as a result. Fortunately, my family is refusing to let me ignore it the way I want to.

I understand it's common to reach this stage of life and have a serious reckoning. We compare who we are and what we've accomplished with the dreams we had decades before, and often find ourselves lacking.

I know I sure do.

From my lofty post on this hill I'm about to pass over, I understand as never before how this midlife reckoning could devolve into a full-blown midlife crisis. I'd like to claim I am somehow immune, but I doubt that would be the case.

That's why I have a plan.

I have a lot of plans, actually. Family, work, writing, travel, home, and self. I have been working on projects in each of these areas, and while I am nowhere near where I want to be, I think I am headed (mostly) in the right direction. I need these plans to give me focus, and enough delusion to believe I might actually achieve them.

A little over a decade ago, I started a blog called Fifteen Minutes of Delusion. The idea was to spend fifteen minutes every day, writing a little something about my life, and what was happening. Blogging was a thing back then, and in the years that blog was active, I made some wonderful connections, in addition to meeting friends who are dear to me to this day.

As part of my Midlife Transformation, I'm bringing back regular blogging. I'm going to try daily; I commit to weekly. I need this blog to keep me accountable. I need a platform where I can brag so I can be motivated to do brag-worthy things. Don't judge.

There is so much going on right now, and adding time to blog will be a real sacrifice. Midlife transformations require a lot of time. But I need to make this connection. I need to share my efforts, failures, and occasional successes. And I haven't found anyplace to do that as effective as a blog.

It's good to be back.

Prime Regent Pitch Follow-up

It's been over a week since I pitched The Prime Regent to an agent during the ANWA conference. The response wasn't quite what I had hoped for, but the agent asked me to send a few pages. So while she didn't fling the door wide open, she didn't slam it shut, either.

There are some serious problems with this book that my beta readers all pointed to, but those start around page 70. Fortunately, I think the first ten pages are in great shape. So maybe it's a good thing she only asked for the first 10. That gives me time to fix the issues, in case she loves my writing and requests the full manuscript.

And even if  she doesn't ask for a full, there's another agent who did, although it's been nearly 18 months and I probably missed that train. 

In any case, fixing these issues will help me grow as a writer, and hopefully avoid these problems in the future. 

In the meantime, the pages and pitch and synopsis have been sent, and I have the next month's writing work cut out for me. 

Stay tuned.

Delusion and The Pitch

Ten years ago, I started a blog called Fifteen Minutes of Delusion. During that time, our lives had been turned upside down and inside out, and I was desperate to provide my two daughters with some regularity in their lives.

Forget delusions of grandeur; I had delusions of normality. And I knew it.

Yet during this time, I discovered that recognizing, accepting and embracing this delusion gave me the strength and courage to press forward in a seemingly hopeless situation.

Fast forward to the here and now, and my attempt to build a writing career while maintaining a full-time job and high-maintenance family. This effort also seems hopeless. And believing I have a chance at success feels entirely delusional.

So once again, I'm recognizing, accepting, and embracing the delusion. And that delusion is giving me the courage and the strength to pitch my latest book to a literary agent tomorrow.

I'll let you know how it goes.

The Great American Eclipse - My Take

I was excited for Great American Eclipse of 2017, especially since the path of totality went very near my house.

Unfortunately, I didn't buy my eclipse glasses when I had the chance, and by the time I got serious about finding a pair, they were gone.

I figured I could probably find a pair at one of the many eclipse viewing events, but I didn't want to take that chance. So I poked a hole in a piece of foil and made an eclipse viewing box.

The morning of the eclipse dawned gray and foreboding. It was not a promising start.

Undeterred, I climbed in the car and drove to the Amelia Earhart airport in Atchison, Kansas. I figured even if I couldn't see the eclipse, I could see some airplanes.

I also found some friends, and one of them had an extra pair of eclipse glasses. Sweet! Now I just needed the sky to clear.

It didn't.

Fortunately, my eclipse viewing box was big enough to keep me dry.

The weather radar implied that the rain might stop in time for the eclipse, so I took refuge in my car and tried to do some work while I waited.

Oh, the irony.

I also had some fun with Heihei, my pocket chicken writing muse.

It was hot and steamy waiting out the rain, alone in the back seat of the car. And more than a bit disappointing. 

But then a couple of minutes before totality, the rain stopped, the sky lightened, and I ventured out of the car.

Through a high, thin cloud cover, I was able to see a sliver of the sun! The crowd parked around me cheered as the moon slowly, eased its way in front of the sun. The sky darkened once again, but this time it wasn't rain. It was a total eclipse! I could even see the sun's corona through the haze.

I was so excited, I didn't take any pictures. (Bad blogger!) So I stole one from the internet and digitally altered it to show what it looked like. 

Then totality passed, and the traffic jam began. But for that brief moment, I was able to see something that is truly rare and amazing, and I'm excited for the chance to watch another eclipse in just seven short years.

Beta Draft built and released with Agile/Scrum

My experiment with applying Agile/Scrum methodologies to my writing has been a huge success. I credit the planning and organization this framework provides with moving a stalled draft to a releasable beta in just 10 weeks.

Both the story and the methodology are still works-in-progress, but I am confident I'll have a submission-worthy draft when I pitch next month at the ANWA conference.

While the draft is out with beta readers, my sprints have focused on creating synopses for the 2nd and 3rd book in the series. I realize this is probably over-optimistic, but I'm using this as an opportunity to explore different plotting methods. And I have more than enough delusion to allow myself a little optimism.

First Sprint Results - I nailed it!

I finished my first sprint as an Agile Writer yesterday. I completed 39 points, and I'm pretty sure it took more than 15 hours. As with any process, there will be constant refinement with regards to how much I can do in a sprint, and how to assign points to the various tasks. 

But one thing I know for certain: I worked a lot harder on my writing this sprint than I have in a while, and I felt like that work was either more productive or less futile (depending on my state of mind. 

Here is a screen shot of the results:

And here is a screen shot of my coming sprint. there are a lot more tasks, plus some reading and research work thrown in as well. This sprint will be good for 46 points, which means it will be a nice stretch.

Becoming an Agile Writer

If this blog were your sole window into my life, you would think that nothing is going on. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Life has been incredibly busy.

The challenge I face -- the challenge I have always faced and will likely face until the very end --  is that I have so much going on it's nearly impossible to keep up with everything.

I have tried simplifying my life, but I'm not sure I can cut back any further without causing real harm to important responsibilities. (That's another blog post for another day.)

My life outside of work - what I have begun referring to as "Discretionary Time" (because time is never free...) - is a bit of a jumbled mess. I feel as though many of the activities I spend my time on aren't really moving me towards my long-term goal. (I've named that goal Project Sisyphus - another post for another day.)

In my job as a software engineer, we have adopted a management framework known as Agile Development. It has made a huge difference in the way our development team works. From my perspective, those differences have been overwhelmingly positive.

I've decided to experiment with applying some of the agile development methodologies to my writing life -- namely Scrum. I chose Scrum for two reasons. First, I'm familiar with it. Second, it excels at dealing with projects that have stalled out.

Scrum isn't a perfect fit; for one thing, the methodology is designed for small teams rather than individuals. But the principles of defining an Epic, dividing the Epic into Stories, and breaking the Stories into Tasks, is very similar to the way I write already. Combine that with the concept of a Sprint (a two-week effort with a pre-defined list of tasks to be completed) and I think this is a great tool to help me focus on my most important writing tasks.

As an added bonus, Scrum prescribes that stories are assigned point values. Points! Which means that, at least in part, scrum is a way to make a game out of work.

I will be finishing my very first sprint tomorrow. How am I doing? I'll post a Sprint Review on Sunday, but I can tell you that during the sprint I have completed rewriting one very difficult scene, and am about 600 words away from finishing the other. I have a solid new backstory for a major world building element.

And I have a blog post.

That's right - I wrote this blog post because it was on my schedule for this Sprint, and I don't want to end the sprint without finishing the work I promised myself I would do. Proof positive that this Agile Writing thing is already making a difference.

You're welcome.