My forties are drawing to a close; I can count the remaining days on one hand. I always thought I'd celebrate this milestone birthday with something large and loud. Maybe a big party, or a cruise. A trip somewhere fun and exotic and exciting. Hong Kong or London of Dubai.
I'd have settled for The Mall of America.
But the current of life has a way of taking us far from the course we have set in our minds. That has certainly been the case with me. Reality means there is neither time nor money for a grand celebration. I'll admit I'm pouting a little. I've threatened to boycott this birthday altogether as a result. Fortunately, my family is refusing to let me ignore it the way I want to.
I understand it's common to reach this stage of life and have a serious reckoning. We compare who we are and what we've accomplished with the dreams we had decades before, and often find ourselves lacking.
I know I sure do.
From my lofty post on this hill I'm about to pass over, I understand as never before how this midlife reckoning could devolve into a full-blown midlife crisis. I'd like to claim I am somehow immune, but I doubt that would be the case.
That's why I have a plan.
I have a lot of plans, actually. Family, work, writing, travel, home, and self. I have been working on projects in each of these areas, and while I am nowhere near where I want to be, I think I am headed (mostly) in the right direction. I need these plans to give me focus, and enough delusion to believe I might actually achieve them.
A little over a decade ago, I started a blog called Fifteen Minutes of Delusion. The idea was to spend fifteen minutes every day, writing a little something about my life, and what was happening. Blogging was a thing back then, and in the years that blog was active, I made some wonderful connections, in addition to meeting friends who are dear to me to this day.
As part of my Midlife Transformation, I'm bringing back regular blogging. I'm going to try daily; I commit to weekly. I need this blog to keep me accountable. I need a platform where I can brag so I can be motivated to do brag-worthy things. Don't judge.
There is so much going on right now, and adding time to blog will be a real sacrifice. Midlife transformations require a lot of time. But I need to make this connection. I need to share my efforts, failures, and occasional successes. And I haven't found anyplace to do that as effective as a blog.
It's good to be back.